The Killer, Tactician, Pervert, Naive, Prankster
by Twin Kats
Summary: Killer, Tactician, Pervert, Naïve, Prankster. Naruto is all…yet not. REST OF SUMMARY INSIDE.
1. The Killer Named Naoko

_**Summary: **__Killer, Tactician, Pervert, Naïve, Prankster. Naruto is all…yet not. [I tasted the blood. It was heavenly//It was so simple, yet complex at the same time//Merely seeing this woman and I was in paradise//All I wanted was to play with the other kids, but even that was denied me//A simple prank that started the cataclysmic events in my life…events that changed everything._

_**The Killer, the Tactician, the Pervert, the Naïve, the Prankster  
**__**The Killer Named Naoko**_

My name is Naoko, I'm a girl, and I was first awoken at age fifteen.

The day I awoke…even I'm not sure of its date, but it was heaven to me.

The rush of battle, the feel of red wine spilled, so tangy a taste it left in my mouth—

I get ahead of myself.

My name is Naoko, Uzumaki Naoko to be exact, and I am the Killer.

I exist solely for the rush of battle, solely for the screams, solely for others' pain.

I am the being that wants to destroy Konoha and all of its inhabitants. I am the being you fear at night.

I am bloodshed. I am death. I am the Killer.

Some may say I'm crazy, but I'm not. This is who I am, who I was meant to be.

I awoke the night of our first kill. It was a boy, no older the seventeen at most. This boy was tall, lithe, and from Iwa.

Apparently they had heard rumors of a golden haired child that resembled the late Yondaime of Konoha and wanted him dead—I say him in a figurative sense, I _am_ female after all.

I remember the night clearly, though. I was resting after another grueling night of training—attempting to train—with Jiraiya (damn pervert, sometimes I wish to hang him up by his entails) when the Iwa-nin, whose name I never got, snuck up on me. Tried to at least.

I let the Iwa-nin get a false sense of security, pretending to sleep. Let the Iwa-nin think it had killed me when I had replaced myself with a bunshin minutes earlier and was now hiding in the trees. It was a lovely sense of security for the Iwa-nin, and ultimately brought his downfall.

The Iwa-nin attacked, Jiraiya off peeking (fucking pervert) so he didn't know until after the fact.

My bunshin, after fifteen hits in vital spots with a kunai, disappeared in a poof, and I waited still. The hunt was on.

"Where is he!?" the Iwa-nin had called I recall. He searched up, left, right, down, forwards, but not behind, nor downwind. Of course a pitiful normal human nose couldn't pick up scents like a jinchuuriki's.

"Look all you want," I said from behind softly. The Iwa-nin turned and I flitted away using the body-flicker technique to move behind him again.

"You'll never find me," I said.

"Where?!" He looked up.

"Not there!" I sang.

He looked behind.

By this time I had created twenty bunshin, all surrounding the Iwa-nin, and all called out.

"Can you find the fox within the leaves?"

"Can you?"

"Can you?"

"Can you?"

By this time the Iwa-nin was lost, confused, but he seemed to gather himself well and began flinging kunai in all directions. I immediately retaliated by creating twenty more bunshin and leaping at him, ten of them each forming a swirling ball of chakra in hand.

Overkill, yes, but I was bloodthirsty.

"RASENGAN!" ten bunshin, myself included, shouted out at once. The Iwa-nin was torn to shreds, bringing a rainfall of blood. Blood splattered around me, in my hair, on my hands. Even in my mouth.

I tasted the blood. It was heavenly.

My name is Naoko, I'm a girl, and I first was awoken at age fifteen. I was the first kill, the first to taste blood, and then abruptly shut away.

After all, this was our way of ridding ourselves of the pieces we don't want around.

We don't mind, though, for we'd do anything…in the name of Naruto-sama.

My name is Uzumaki Naoko, I'm a girl, and I first awoke at age fifteen.

Painful though it may be, I would strive, until I could kill again.

…

_Hi, this is a short five-shot story, a prequel to a yet to be started story. At the end of the five-shot you'll find out the yet to be started story name. Thank you!_

_TK  
__Twin Kats_

_First post: October 6 2007_

_Next post: October 13 2007_

_**NOTE: **__I am no posting a chapter a week, this story is finished, and therefore shall be posted TONIGHT! Enjoy!_


	2. The Tactician Named Ishida

_**The Killer, the Tactician, the Pervert, the Naïve, the Prankster  
**__**The Tactician Named Ishida**_

My name is Ishida, I'm a boy, and I was first awoken at age eight.

The day I awoke…even I'm not sure of its date.

What I do know is that I was too smart for my own good.

My name is Ishida, Uzumaki Ishida to be precise, and I am the Tactician.

I exist solely for intelligence, solely for strategic influence.

I am influence. I am brains. I am the Tactician

Some may call me a genius, but whether I be a genius or not…well it doesn't matter either way, for this is who I am, who I was meant to be.

I awoke the day of our entrance to the shinobi academy. There was a pop-quiz that day to see who had the qualifications of being a shinobi.

My test I know was above genin level, academy level even. It was on par to Hokage level, but I aced it. It was so simple, yet complex at the same time.

I was accused of cheating. How unbecoming, me, cheat? I have no need, I'm smart enough already! I knew their game the moment they played it and I knew it'd be better if I—let me finish my story before I go into that.

I was ridiculed and treated harshly for my intelligence after that. I aced every test, aced every problem, every practical exam, for a week straight I was free to do as I pleased—and then, it stopped.

There was one night where I couldn't escape the beatings, no matter how smart I am, I couldn't escape a mob at my level.

It was October tenth, my birthday, and consequentially, the day I lost my freedom.

I always was more of a thinker than a fighter, I knew this, and so I knew I couldn't take on a mob of people and expect to survive.

It was here that I was shut away, for I was an unneeded item. I was too smart for my own good.

The mob had come to my apartment, broken down the door and then busted into my room before I could escape. There were nin from the academy that came to attack as well.

I was beaten within an inch of my life; Hokage-sama saved me that night.

It was while we slept that I willingly let myself be locked away.

My name is Ishida, I'm a boy, and I first was awoken at age eight. I was the genius, the smart one, and then abruptly locked away a week later.

I didn't mind, after all, this was our way of ridding ourselves of what was unneeded, unnecessary. It was our way of ridding ourselves of what would get us killed in the end.

We don't care, for we'd do anything for Naruto-sama, even destroy ourselves.

My name is Uzumaki Ishida, I'm a boy, and I first awoke at age eight.

I have a lonely existence, but personally I'd always preferred loneliness to company.

…

_Hi, this is a short five-shot story, a prequel to a yet to be started story. At the end of the five-shot you'll find out the yet to be started story name. Thank you!_

_TK  
__Twin Kats_

_Second post: October 13 2007_

_Next post: October 20 2007_


	3. The Pervert Named Tenshi

_**The Killer, the Tactician, the Pervert, the Naïve, the Prankster  
**__**The Pervert Named Tenshi**_

My name is Tenshi, I'm a boy, and I was first awoken at age twelve.

The day I awoke…even I'm not sure of its date, but I do remember the white haired man and the hot woman at the baths.

Ahh, those woman, especially the red eyed one! Merely seeing this woman and I was in paradise.

But I digress, I am off topic.

My name is Tenshi, Uzumaki Tenshi to be correct, and I am the Pervert.

I exist for the sole purpose of perversion, of peeping, of sexual actions.

I am the being that will have you screaming from pleasure. I am the being that will bring your naughtiest fantasies to life.

I am sex. I am appeal. I am the Pervert.

Some may say it's wrong to be perverted. This is who I am, though; this is who I was meant to be.

I woke the day we first met Jiraiya, though my awakening was brief at most. For about fifteen minutes actually, and then I was gone.

What I remember when I awoke was the simple fact that Jiraiya was peeping, researching those oh-so-wondrous books he wrote (we read them once out of curiosity, and then promptly had chucked them away much to my horror) and the fact that the hot springs where full of beautiful, gorgeous woman.

I had immediately gotten a hard on at the red eyed woman.

I guess we became disgusted at our self at this point, either that or confused. Confused is better I believe, as we didn't know what was going on with our body. Oh I did, but we didn't.

Here it was, after meeting the Gama-sannin, I was shut away.

My name is Tenshi, I'm a boy, and I was first awoken at age twelve. I was the first hard on, the first sight of perversion, and I was shut away.

It doesn't matter anyways, this is the way we rid ourselves of what we dislike after all, of what we don't _understand_.

We don't mind at all in fact, for we'd do anything for Naruto-sama.

My name is Uzumaki Tenshi, I'm a boy, and I first awoke at age twelve.

My existence outside was brief, but I enjoyed it in those few moments it lasted.

…

_Hi, this is a short five-shot story, a prequel to a yet to be started story. At the end of the five-shot you'll find out the yet to be started story name. Thank you!_

_Sorry I didn't get this up ealier today, I was REAAAAAAAALLLLY busy._

_TK  
__Twin Kats_

_Third post: October 20 2007_

_Next post: October 27 2007_


	4. The Naïve Named Kiyosha

_**The Killer, the Tactician, the Pervert, the Naïve, the Prankster  
**__**The Naïve Named Kiyosha**_

My name is Kiyosha, I'm a girl, and I was first awoken at age four.

The day I awoke…I do not remember its date. All I remember is wanting to play with the kids.

I'm a child at heart you see, even if I'm the oldest in existence.

I am far ahead of myself though, ne?

My name is Kiyosha, Uzumaki Kiyosha actually, and I am the Naïve.

I exist solely for the simplicity of who I am.

I am innocent. I am untainted. I am the Naïve.

Some may say I'm too naïve, but it was the way I was after all.

I awoke during the first urge to play with the other children. You see that was all I cared about, making friends, having fiends, playing with friends.

All I wanted was to play with the other kids, but even that was denied me.

You see, the others at the orphanage didn't like me, the adults didn't like me and told the kids not to too. So when I first had the urge to play, they scattered. A few of the older ones beat me up, punched me, and kicked me. Roughed me up a bit.

I kept trying though, and got the same results.

I lasted a total of one year before I was put away.

My name is Kiyosha, I'm a girl, and I first was awoken at age four. I was the innocent one, the one who was urged to play with others my age, and after a year of abuse I was put away.

I didn't care, though; I was unneeded, unwanted, for this is our way of keeping ourselves, our true pieces of heart, safe.

We didn't mind, none of us, as we'd do anything for Naruto-sama; being locked away is but a small price to pay in the end.

My name is Uzumaki Kiyosha, I'm a girl, and I first awoke at age four.

I'm the naïve, innocent child, and I forever will be.

…

_Hi, this is a short five-shot story, a prequel to a yet to be started story. At the end of the five-shot you'll find out the yet to be started story name. Thank you!_

_TK  
__Twin Kats_

_Fourth post: October 27 2007_

_Next post: November 3 2007_


	5. The Prankster Named Naruto

_**The Killer, the Tactician, the Pervert, the Naïve, the Prankster  
**__**The Prankster Named Naruto**_

My name is Uzumaki Naruto, I am sixteen years of age, and I can't help but feel something was going to happen today that would never normally happen.

It started out like a normal day. I woke up to smashing my alarm clock (damn I'd have to get a new one again) and dressed in my regular attire of a black and orange jumpsuit (it had changed over the years of just being a normal orange jumpsuit after my training with Jiraiya) and finally had some ramen for breakfast. All the while I couldn't shake the feeling that something was going to go wrong today.

I had a prank all planned out, it was strange one, I knew. It involved pulling the wool over the eyes of the Hyuuga (tough that one) and then prescribing a genjutsu over Tsunade-obaa's office, finally ending with a prank on the Akimichi's. It would be the best one yet. I knew it would, but I still couldn't shake the feeling.

Little did I know what this feeling meant at the time. Later I'd come to realize just the significant of the feeling and wish I wouldn't have ignored it.

You see I'm a prankster, born and true (at least I like to think so) and I try to pull a prank once a week when not on missions with Sakura-chan.

A prank though is not so easy to pull off without getting caught. You have to be stealthy and well thought out in your traps for your pursuers.

So I started my long, and tedious attack on the Akimichi's, Hyuuga's, and Tsunade-obaa.

For the Hyuuga's, well I snuck in during the switching of the guard times and doused their food with laxatives—and by food I meant ALL of the food in the kitchen, even the stuff not yet prepared.

For the Akimichi's…well let's say I turned them away from eating for the whole day with an experimental genjutsu of mine (and yes I do suck in that area but hey, I try to invent new things for my pranks all the time, this just was one of the tougher ones) that made all the food to them seem rotten or corroded.

For Tsunade-obaa…well I know she hates the color pink, so I did a bit of redecorating of her office with a genjutsu (experimental as well) over her paperwork to make it seem as if it was growing by an inch after every one she finished.

It was a simple prank that I pulled that day. A simple prank that started the cataclysmic events in my life…events that changed everything.

My name is Uzumaki Naruto, and currently unaware of it, I have MPD, Multiple Personality Disorder, and things were just about to get a helluva lot different.

…

_This is only a prequel of sorts to a story that I will post at a later date, a bit of a side showing. It's a group of one-shots, or if you will a five-shot, introducing each of the main characters of my story that has yet to be started._

_The story will be called __**Multiply Me**_

_I do sincerely hope you enjoyed._

_Oh and ideas for how to write the "sequal" would be much apreciated because as of right now it's JUST AN IDEA. I need actual theories on how to work it based on the information given. Much appreciated._

_TK  
Twin Kats_

_Last post: November 3 2007_


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